#because misinformation IS harmful
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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.
I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.
The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.
Because it's so hard to exist in this world.
My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:
Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)
Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.
Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.
Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.
Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.
Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s
I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.
So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".
Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)
Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.
If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.
NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD
Stigma in the DSM
Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)
"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."
(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)
#actuallynpd#signal boost#actuallyautistic#mental health awareness#narcissistic personality disorder#people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias#(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar#mentally ill or otherwise ND)#the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there'#no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo#anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that#he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful#misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included#several personality disorders. one of which was NPD.#and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and#he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he#was glad he did#fun times#or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to#support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma#bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me#trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them.#again..... fun times
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. probably gonna delete this later
#not to rant in the tags or anything but i honestly cannot BELIEVE some of you still follow or reblog vaspider content#they are a Zionist and have spread blatant pro-israel propaganda#theyre a white convert to judaism and they actively support israel whether or not they acknowledge that is their material impact#they have spread conspiracy theory nonsense about ‘Hamas operatives in Gazan hospitals’ and justified war crimes#they also have actively accused just regular Muslims of being antisemitic#theyre the worst kind of crybully ‘leftist’ and they do their crybullying in favour of FUCKING GENOCIDE#like what the FUCK y’all i cannot believe anyone is willingly circulating their posts & additions to other people’s posts#this is someone with an easily observable habit of spreading extremely pernicious and harmful misinformation#someone who has jumped on bandwagons to accuse Palestinians of being scammers#fucking hold your friends accountable because spider is a pro-empire islamophobe who supports genocide in the middle east#idk why americans and westerners in general just give zero shits about Zionism among leftists but uhhhh i’m assuming it’s white supremacy#it can’t be said enough that Zionism is a white supremacist ideology#and a white american who supports zionism is a white supremacist regardless of if they are jewish or queer or poor or claim to be an ally#y’all are so fucking stupid for falling for ‘progressives’ and ‘queers’ and trans people who are literal white supremacists#sorry but it has to be said#so so fucking stupid#pay better attention#also dont get me started on spider being repeatedly transmisogynist it is so fucking bad#just because youre anti radfem and a transmasc does NOT give you a free pass to hate trans women publicly#OBVIOUSLY#being a transmisogynist transmasc is so fucking evil its not even funny#and the whole thing where people hide their transmisogyny and misogyny in general under the guise of ‘supporting transmasculinity’ is gross#i really really cant stress enough how reactionary spider is and the harm that they do on here because of their shitty politics
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Radblr! I know people on here have rightfully brought up how trans activists use people with DSD’s as political pawns, but the alternative is not to do that ourselves, and only bring up them when we can use them to criticize trans activism. I see people do this a lot. Intersex people are regularly medically abused and there is a lack of knowledge of their DSD’s even among professionals.
#I think TRA’s have done some things to raise awareness#Of the ways intersex people are abused and the fact they exist#But they’ve also caused harm to them by spreading misinformation about their conditions#Not even just the “sex is a spectrum” thing. But people genuinely think they’re a “third sex”#And we have people thinking they’re intersex because it’s been sold as another quirky trait like has been done to LGBT and mental illness#Despite bringing it up a lot the average TRA knows nothing about them even by their standards#Intersex#my post
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This isn't about any one event in particular, but sometimes I wish people would meaningfully differentiate gossiping about something and actually Doing Something that's positive and productive. I'm not condemning the very human desire to gossip, and I'm cerainly not immune to the draw of wanting in on the hot goss, but rubbernecking and rubbing your hands with glee at an unfolding trainwreck is not the same thing as taking a stand or helping people, and declining to rubberneck or not taking pleasure in it is not the same thing as refusing to take a stand.
#it's like... when the j*mes s/omm*rt/on thing broke that was about how rampant unchecked plagiarism and misinformation is on youtube#I don't think it was supposed to be 'let's ruin this specific guy's life and laugh'#I have absolutely no desire to watch drama channel recaps about what happened in the fallout of the videos exposing him#because that's just meanspirited gossip that is **completely besides the point**#which was to hold youtubers to higher standards of citing sources#and to hold *yourself* to higher standards of scepticism about accepting random bullshit you heard online as unquestioned truth#this specific guy did incredibly harmful and shitty things but I don't want to hound him to the ends of the earth eternally punishing him#what good does that do?#how does that prevent plagiarism and misinformation from being spread?#it doesn't#it just appeals to the same kind of thing that made people throw rotten vegetables at people in the stocks#and again I just mention this incident as a 'for instance' because I'm talking about a recurring thing rather than any one thing
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After every (American) election, there's always a bunch of posts going around exposing psyops or pointing out how there were posts on this site designed to get people to not vote blue.
And in the lead up to every (American) election, there's a bunch of posts being reblogged that are clearly either psyops or manipulative posts that tell people it's perfectly okay for them not to vote at all.
Like, there's history going back years on this hellsite where the alt-right intentionally tried to undermine or indoctrinate people so they get/stay in power. History a lot of y'all know of or were even there for and saw go down in real time.
But sure, be uncritical of what you reblog, don't bother looking at the source website, or just put things out there without caveats or nuance.
#i know media literacy is trash these days#and that there's intentional misinformation/no information about elections#but i've seen people who have reblogged things about psyops in the past who both reblog and support current ones#but unlike other social media sites you can reblog a post but then stick nuance in the tags#you can be critical of something while also gritting your teeth and supporting it because the alternative is worse#you can (and should) also be critical of the systems that lead to that in the first place#throwing your hands up and saying there's no point and you aren't going to bother#and it's fine if others do the same#is just giving up and saying it's too hard for you and you don't care about the harm that comes to others#the canadian system is different (though first past the post tries to make it the same)#but you can bet i'd vote for trudeau even though fuck him and his racist ass#if the alternative was pp because while trudeau sucks for many reasons#pp is fucking terrifying to me as a disabled queer person#and i'm lucky in that i'm white and canadian and can pass as cishet so i'd be spared the worst of it#others would not be so lucky#especially when his fans are eager to hate crime people and only hold themselves back because they would face social consequences#also learn what is private criticism you keep to yourself or talk to friends about#and what is okay to talk about publicly#some things you don't fucking say when it will be taken as permission for antipathy or approval by fascists
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not sending this as an ask to them because I think it might violate one of the blog rules, but it's pretty telling how even though @jewish-vents is a politically neutral vent blog where jews of any political stance can rant, it never ever gets asks from token antizionist "as a jew"s who apparently suffer oh-so much and feel so alienated and attacked by the rest of the jewish community. almost like they don't actually have as much to vent about.
#stop pretending like you're suffering for even more sympathy points when you're really throwing other jews under the bus#that's why we don't fucking like you. you justify harm and antisemitism against other jews. MOST jews.#not to mention you validate antisemitic misinformation because you don't know your fucking history and culture#ok i'm going on a rant. point is damn token jews grind my gears.#anyways jewish vents mods tell me to delete this post if you're unokay with it#jumblr#hila has spoken
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kind of frustrating that people took "fat does not equal unhealthy" to mean "fat is not unhealthy." sometimes being obese IS unhealthy & excess fat can cause a lot of problems. ignoring health issues isn't progressive. real "oranges kill people with depression" moment
#i have a lot to say but i think it all boils down to this:#the only reason people think this way is because they experienced body shaming & bullying for their fatness#& instead of gaining a healthy relationship with their body & its needs they went full denial mode#people that aren't fat that think this way are just going with things uncritically which is also bad btw#because when you have decades of proof that being severely overweight can be detrimental to your health#(& no i don't mean fucking. supersize me. i mean medical proof that too much fat causes diseases & early death)#but you're ignoring that because a tiktok influencer that has no medical experience said so#that is a huge lack of critical thinking skills on display & people are gonna listen to that misinformation & some might die#this isn't some light shit that can be waved off as non-harmful because it IS harmful! it is actively hurting people!!#again being unhealthy isn't a moral failing & no one deserves shit for that!! but that's the whole damn point isn't it!!!#militant fat activists are so afraid of their fatness being associated with anything negative they turn right around into ableism#they don't WANT to be considered disabled! because being disabled IS a moral failing to them. disability is abnormal#& of course being morbidly obese is totally normal. because if it wasn't then they'd need to do work & handle an ED#& that's too much to grapple with mentally so. no. they're normal. super normal. don't look at the lifespan of someone over 300lb#btw i am 100% aware that a lot of this is combined with other issues like racism sexism homo/transphobia genuine fatphobia#but also sometimes they really can't operate on someone that can't recover afterwards#like i wouldn't call the vet bigoted & cat-hating for being unable to operate on my 20yo cat#Minnie would simply not survive that. because she is so damn old#unfortunately for Minnie she can't get younger but people CAN lose weight in multiple different ways#& it may seem like the world is attacking you but you really have to train yourself out of automatic bad faith reactions#''you couldn't possibly understand!!'' yeah okay i'm sooo abled & privileged you got me there (<-sarcasm. if you couldn't tell)#just because someone hasn't experienced your EXACT thing doesn't mean they can't relate & haven't gone through similar#it's so difficult to train your brain out of that shit i get that but you really really really have to. or you will die#or at least be miserable#DISCLAIMER: i'm not talking about every person who has even a little fat on their body. fat is NEEDED#but like all things too much of a good thing can cause problems & fat is not exempt#this is about morbid obesity. not someone who's like 160lb that shit is normal#& people need to stop thinking anything over 110lb is fat#because it isn't & i think most people are getting into unhealthy territory at that low of a weight#basically i view being too fat the same as being too thin. they both cause health problems & should be taken seriously
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it kinda sucks that i cant delete my other account forthe reason that i constantly forget my own password cuz i realllllyyy want the url @fanonicity (mimicks canonicity, because fanonical is unavailable) but i CANNOT delete that stupid bait acc its wild shit
#card talks about:#old accounts#’card you had a bait acc?’ i did because i hated endos like my life was hellbent on it#but honestly ive grown to not give a shit about them unless they were being harmful (stolen closed practices/deliberate misinfo/#trying to barge into cdd sys spaces/etc)#because generally? they’re all kids or misinformed by others or seeking for attention—which is another way of a call for help iirc? idk idk#do not misread my words though; i still hate them and i do not want endos interacting with us—i just don’t want to bother them anymore#tw syscourse#system things#actually system#traumagenic system#sysblr#fictive heavy system
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I have a feeling my mom is slowly falling down an alt right/radfem pipeline on tik tok and it's scaring me
#being ao casual about covid#acting like people arent fucking immunocompromised#acting like those people should just ''stay inside''#saying a bunch of fucking gender essentialist bull shit#the other day she described something as being ''so boy'' (the thing was ten minute power hour)#and she has told me several times ''i feel better about you having a woman doctor than a man doctor''#and i mean any kind of doctor. like a fucking orthodontist.#she acts like men are innately horrible people that are going to hurt every woman ever#and i count as a woman who is going to be hurt. because I'm a perisex AFAB person.#and when i bring up terf and rad fem shit she's always like ''yknow they have a point'' LIKE GIRL. THEY USE THAT SHIT TO ARGUE THAT I#SHOULDN'T EXIST AND AM A TERRIBLE GENDER TRAITOR.#OKAY. DO YOU GET IT.#every month she becomes more and more dead set on this ideology. it scares me that one day she'll stop supporting me being trans#and i know so many people have it worse with parents who were never supportive in the first place#but it's fucking terrifying to slowly watch your own parent parrot the same misinformation that used to subjugate and harm you#it's scary being uncertain of when your parent is just gonna turn against you#it's like watching someone rot in real time#someone who has control over your entire life#tw vent
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What is up with people calling Karlie "alliterate"?
Idk what that word means google wasn't quite clear. Like why are they tearing her down? This post I just saw said "who pretends to code" If a person has a whole company/organization dedicated to coding I'm more than sure she isn't pretending to know about coding. Like dude are you jealous because she has a skill you don't? Yk to be honest I kind of hate how karlie gets caught in the middle of all this drama while Taylor is out there living her best life. Like Taylor managed to keep her public persona squeaky clean while Karlie is being hated on left and right by swifties. And swifties can be really toxic
alliteration is when you have a lot of words starting with the same letter in a sentence. it happens in english language marketing a lot but also in poetry. you can read about it here! so enty refers to her as the aliterate model because her name is Karlie Kloss.
separate from this, the ‘who can’t code’ part, i think with the way celebrity gossip is traditionally formulated, i think enty and others poke fun at celebrities in the way they refer to them, almost playfully. like i think it’s just a hollywood way of being catty, and he pokes fun at plenty of celebrities.
unfortunately for karlie, i think that people who are predisposed to hating karlie then take this language from enty or others literally, feed into it, and get all nasty when talking about her as if it makes them sound more in the know to be an ass 🙃 i always get secondhand embarrassment with this stuff.
#in this day and age sites like his have such a wider audience and i always struggle with whether or not he has taken the best measures#to accommodate for what happens with mass misunderstandings#because i think at its core hollywood gossip was mostly just a bunch of publicists and industry members having fun with each other..#but it was mostly based on a shared understanding of how hollywood works. and that’s why the way of writing these things would be amusing#but with the way misinformation gets weaponized these days and can lead to harm.. i am sometimes made to wonder if its worth the catty jokes
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Discussions of implied fictional CSA & SA
I recently been wondering if there’s a chance Richard thinks Roy’s aggressive and distant behavior is normal and not a sign of CSA because he acted similarly to Roy when he was younger
Reasonings in the tags
#Again TW for discussion/mentions of CSA/SA#I believe Richard was repeatedly SA by his brother throughout his childhood and early teenage years#He never realized it was SA because no one told him and pre-existing misinformation and harmful beliefs about SA#He unknowingly developed bad behaviors and coping mechanism from his CSA in his teenage years but nothing was really done#The school thought he was a rowdy troublemaker. His parents didn’t do jack to help him even after discovering the abuse because they-#worried more their reputations. And his friends didn’t know about the abuse either so they thought he was a rowdy kid and sometimes#Feed into his bad behaviors because they were dumb teenagers looking to have fun in the stupidest ways possible and not thinking of the-#consequences or why a kid like Richard was so mean and aggressive in the first place#I know this is a very sensitive topic and the fandom has all right to be hesitant about seeing how Roy’s truama was treated and#certain individuals approaching it terribly#However I don’t think the majority of the fandom understands how Roy’s SA is an integral part of his character. not only because it’s an-#canon explantation for his behavior but also being SA impacts EVERYTHING. how you look at the world. behaviors. relationships. etc#imo it’s feels weird to ignore it even if the original source treated it questionable#I am interested and do want to explore Roy’s story and the probable story of Richard too#Not only is it an integral part of Roy’s character that should be acknowledge more but also there’s an interesting story to tell about-#CSA/SA. how it affects everybody. and the different interpretations that can be written from it#I’m really interested in seeing a fanfic where Roy and Richard addressed their truama together. learn to heal. and become closer by the end#That being said I want to make it clear that when discussing these topics I still want to be respectful#If I ever handle it wrong or go to far. let me know. and if you have criticism for me regarding this. let me know too!#Again this is a very sensitive topic and I don’t want to contribute to the harm#spooky month#spooky month roy#spooky month richard#tw csa mention#tw csa#tw sa mention#tw sa implied#tw csa implied#tw sa#ChuchaYucca.text
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do you ever like. want to go back to something that you’ve been staying away from bc it led to you getting hurt even though you know that something is bad?
#this is abt a piece of media#which is very controversial in and of itself#but it also led me to people who put me through a lot#and made me not good#but#sometimes i want to go back to it#because it also made me very happy at the time#and it was a good period of growth for my art#even if it eventually led to one of the biggest burnouts i’ve had yet#the thing is idk if i can consume it without feeling immense guilt#bc both it and its creator are very problematic (i hate to use that word but i think it’s justified here)#(since both have done actual harm to real people and spread misinformation about important things)#but also. nostalgia.#and other than yknow the shit it spreads#it’s not a bad piece of media#just. idk.#idk what to do.#k.txt
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it happened again 😭
Skgjfh this took me so long to understand because I thought this was tumblr, I've literally never seen reddit on light mode before
Also skfkfj uh oh I bet the comments are full of people saying this isn't synesthesia and that i need to stop diagnosing people like on here 🤦♂️
#synesthesia is a self diagnosable brain difference. not a treatable condition or something#i cant even fathom a way in which someone falsely claiming to have synesthesia could be harmful#unless they spread misinformation but like. probably not since theres already very little info#if you did that youd just look like a dummy and embarrass yourself#idk i just remember when i discovered i had it and it was fun and it made me really happy to have a word for it#i just want people who didnt know before to have a word for it#especially important if you ever tell other people about it since some people may bully you if they dont understand it#so knowing what it is can either 1) give you a way to explain to others what it is or#2) it can (sadly) tell you what exactly it is about you thats abnormal so you dont talk about it anymore#for example i would just randomly say stuff like 'this song sounds pink' because i thought everyone had that association#but nope. they called me a freak. which to be fair isnt wromg but also ouch
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Tag vent. Don’t mind me.
#Dragging my hands down my face and seething bc I saw someone incorrectly write about a profession/skill#‘You need to actually care about the research you should be doing on any profession’ i mutter to myself#‘Because how you’re writing it directly contributes to misinformation stigmas and stereotypes about said profession/skill’#You need to KNOW the rules for something before you break them#Good cartoonists and comic artists are ones who learned anatomy first. Your changes are only effective if it’s clear you know—#— what you’re talking about in the first place#Also: This is the exact same advice I would give to anyone writing for a culture/ethnicity/race/religion that is not their own#Learn the right way first or you’re just doing more harm than good#Nothing is ‘just entertainment’ or ‘just for fun’#Nothing exists in a vacuum.
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cranky because you’re in a hate group are you
cranky because someone dared to try being amiable while attempting to clear up any confusion instead of being discourteous as you expect anyone your group has considered "the enemy" would act, aren't you?
#also no i am not suddenly part of a hate group just because you mindlessly follow the lead of someone who's hobby is spreading drivel#and speaking over traumagenic and endogenic voices alike as that is apparently a thing she does frequently#just because i do not put up with misinformation and ableism doesnt mean i wish harm or such on your group (as a hate group does)#even though your group has sent many of our own system members horrible things and attempts to trigger and harm them#i just dont think that shoving endogenics into something that is specifically about traumagenics is the right thing to do anon#if you would like to actually discuss this instead of memeing at me like a brat i would be happy to have an actual conversation with you
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Anyways. Go listen to Knowledge Fight it's very good and covers + debunks Alex Jones' bigoted bullshit very well, especially considering recent events with him
#i was trying to listen to it in order for the most part but I'm gonna probably listen to the most recent episodes really quick#because you know. covering current events that are important for me to know about#and listen I've got my own share of criticisms of KF but like. those tiny details are kind of made up with the fact that#they're probably one of- if not- the best people covering and dismantling Jones' harmful bigotry and misinformation right now#knowledge fight
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